hero_of_smiles | Fifth Gadget: I was stupid, so stupid. [Voice/action]

[The toils of war were things Cross only read about and even than he never understood it. Why did people kill others? Why did they do horrible things to one another when it wasn't needed? But, why did he fight? Cross constantly told himself it was to protect people. To be a hero.

But that was all a lie and he knew it was. He played hero to make friends. To make people like him. The ultimate solver of loneliness in his opinion. But, this...none of that back in the draft was what he wanted. He watched people getting maimed in horrendous ways and brutally slaughtered. Was that what war really was? Senseless destruction and murder?

He had thought only the bad people killed...but people from his side were doing it too. Could it be that life just wasn't that black and white as he thought it was? Could he have been wrong as he watched a river of blood collect in that place? The thoughts of all that horror is swimming in his head as he lies in his bed, wrapped tightly in his bed sheets like a protective cocoon. Cross wants to believe that this would keep his world from crumbling all together. But, the fabric isn't tight enough to keep the pieces of his beliefs from hitting and smashing on the floor.

Cross turns to his journal and stares at it for a long moment. Did he try and find comfort in others? Or try and act like everything was normal? When he finally decides, he flips it open, deciding voice is the better choice this time.]

Hey, um...to the people on the draft that fought with me. I wanna say thanks for having my back. I was probably pretty useless out there so thanks for keeping me alive long enough to get back here.

[Cross breathes deeply for a moment. A hollow smirk coming on his face.]

So, that was what a war was like, huh? And people here have gone through this stuff before. Man can't even imagine doing that all the time or how any of you can deal with it. Going to war and killing people I mean.

[He can only let out a small laugh at that.]

Guess I'm just stupid. Really stupid.

[And he just shuts off his book. Because even with seeing all that he doesn't think he could even bring himself to committing those acts as easily as others did.]

[Later when he can finally feel his legs again, Cross has gone into the village deciding he can't just hole up in his apartment. For whoever he knows he's gotta at least try and look like he can move past what he saw and what he dealt with.

He decides to head to Seventh Heaven getting food in his stomach was something he needed to do.

After that he's going to the library, this time around he's made himself another book fort. Maybe hiding in it could make the memories of war go away.

Lastly, he's gone the bar. Why? Well in his book fort rummaging he read that alcohol can help with this kind of stuff and while he may be a minor maybe it won't matter here. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah, I've run into a couple of animals that can talk...sort of.

[And there's a nervous laugh that comes out next.]

It makes eating meat here a little bit harder, knowing that they can talk to you.

But, that's the same here. Animals don't really talk. They just kind of make animal noises at you...like how they're supposed to....

I think I know why the Malnosso make the animals talk now. To drive us all crazy.

[... Oh damn it, he never thought of that.]

Well they already push is into questionable situations, animals talking to drive us crazy doesn't seem that unreasonable.

[Well there goes any appetite for the day.]

[Just have a nice tasty bowl of leafy greens....wait a sec-]

Don't even want to know what they consider insane level.

[But, now this whole Molasses throwing them into strange situations makes him frown a bit.]

I wonder when the Next Draft will be. They don't send people on them after a month, right?

[HAVING LEAVES IS SUFFERING.]

I don't want to either. As for your question, I'm... not entirely sure. That's the only one I've seen so far since I've arrived.

I hope they're not too common, though.

[~~It's not like you can make like a tree and...leaf.~~]

Wonder why they use us though to fight their stupid war. We don't have anything to do with any of this.

[There's a huff of annoyance at it all.]

Those guys really need to ask us if we want to even help out rather than the whole forcing us. Probably work in the long run.

[~~terrible all terrible.~~]

Well these are the people who also keep us in an enclosure to experiment on. When we're not being blatantly experimented on, we aren't doing much to benefit their research, and there are a number of fighters. Exceptionally powerful ones, even.

[The shrug of his shoulders probably compliments Cross's huff well.]

Ask, and we say no, then what? They'll find fighters one way or another probably.

[Aleos, why do you have to logic things?]

Yeah, okay. So what? We're all trapped here by who the heck knows what so they gotta make our stay even worse? Just makes me want to punch them in the face even more.

[This is just making him think they're worse than ever.]

So, either we go along with this to keep other people out or we don't and they drag more people into it?

Great. Loving my options here.

[So much sarcasm.]

[Because every once in a while he has to be the logic one, don't count on it.]

That's just how some societies work. [And God does he hate them.] And that's how war seems to work, people command and others do the dirty aspects for them. But I won't claim expertise there, nor do I really want it.

[Does he look like a guy who would last under all that pressure?]

Something tells me we should just start making plans on taking the Malnosso over and fix this stuff.

[Because, clearly running an organization couldn't be that hard.]

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