hero_of_smiles | Appointments

Been keeping busy with projects and stuff.

What's up with your arm?

Projects? Didn't think you were the kind of guy to do that.

My arm on the other hand, I think I broke a wire inside it. The pinky doesn't move now and is just all stiff.

Broken wire? [Medical tech wasn't his thing, but...]

I figured it was best to keep busy. This place being quiet is no excuse not to stay sharp, so I thought "Why not?" Gotta idea for something by the lake in the west, and I also fixed up a kid's headphones. Just needed a little rewiring and a little solde. No biggie.

Yeah, it's no big deal though. Just gotta open it up and replace it.

[Cross does take more interest in this, project by the lake thing. Seemed kind of secret.

However...asking didn't seem like it'd be too much harm.]

Soooo...are you building a giant magical hammer that'll smash the barrier and get us all home? 'Cause I'd like to see that.

What? No!

[He didn't think anything short of the influences from the two most trustworthy kids in his life could do anything to damage that barrier. That wasn't saying anything about his disagreements with that rationale.]

It's just an idea for something like a pavillion or a pier. Nothing that special.

I was kidding.

[A pier? Hm, tha's something he didn't expect.]

Didn't know you knew carpentry.

[Cross pauses for a second before saying:]

I'm guessing you weren't calling to talk about piers and stuff, am I right?

It's just an engineering project. Still in the drafting phase too. No biggie.

[His tone was almost bored as he said it, and there was little variation as he continued.]

Actually, I was just checking-in to see how you were. You didn't look so good a few weeks back. Not that I blame ya. Not everyone is made for that kinda thing.

Let me know if you need any help. I'm sort of good with mechanics. Might be able to help with somethin'.

[Cliff's next words...are not what he expected. Checking in? That's...kind of a new prospect he never thought anyone would do for him. But, as touching as it is, he needed to put on a strong face. He needed to seem like he was fine. Heroes never got depressed, sad, or unsure of themselves. But, that did happen and he hates that. It just twists angrily inside him.

So, his voice changes from casual to uppity, forced cheerfulness put on.]

Oh?? That? Yeah, yeah. Totally fine. Never been better actually. I was just having an off day then.

[The fact remained that even heroes were just regular men and women at heart. They weren't people who set out to be heroes based on some whim; it was something that happened through a process of elimination. Heroism just found them.

That false cheer was something that Cliff had heard many times before. He heard it in young Federation soldiers who were on leave and unaware of his reputation. Some of the young people in Quark, like the brothers who called themselves 'The Binary Star of Lazeria,' sounded the same from time to time.

It confirmed his concerns.]

Lots of people were having off days back there. [Like Souji Okita. Like himself, when he teamed up with Vegeta.] It's just something that happens. Nothing to be ashamed of.

Edited 2013-05-05 01:39 (UTC)

[He wasn't doing a really good job at hiding his depression was he? He swears inwardly to himself as he clutches at his chest. No, no he wouldn't bother someone with his problems. Heroes didn't do that. They shouldered it all and people liked them for it.

But, the more he tries to hold that weight up the harder it gets. This time as he goes for reassurance, his voice lacks the energy from before, sounding a bit empty.]

I'll be okay...I can handle it. Always been able to.

Ya don't sound it.

[Even over audio alone, he could read Cross as easily as he could read a book.]

Even strong people need someone to rely on when times get tough. I've done a lot of hard things, and I don't think i could have gotten through some of it without my partner-in-crime.

In my opinion, the strongest people are the ones who are honest with themselves, and are brave enough to trust someone else to have their back when times get rough.

[Brave enough and strong enough to trust others with their problems? He's not sure if he could do that, let alone want to. All he understood was people didn't want to hear about others problems but were more willing to share their own for anyone that would listen. And as much as he wanted to scream out his problems, he held himself back from it.]

That's not what the books say or from what I've seen.

You're listening to books now? [It must have explained where Cross was getting his ideas...]

Tell me something, kid. Name me one story where the hero accomplished their goal completely on their own.

Books would have to talk if I could listen to them.

[As for that...damn it. Cliff really did have a point. Not one he wanted to admit easily.]

A few I suppose. But, that's goal accomplishing. I get that you can't win in against the bad guy if you fight by yourself.

[That was exactly why he asked the hard questions.]

There's more to winning than just kicking the bad guy down, kid. If you're hurt afterward, then your success kinda fell short. Why do you think heroes always have friends in these stories, anyway?

[Maybe the hero just didn't want to be alone in it all...he's not sure what to say.]

Dunno. They just make friends because people like them and those friends follow cause they like the hero.

[And now it almost felt like Cross was just being dense.]

You haven't had many friends, have you kid?

[Shhhhhhhhi-!]

What are you talking about? I got plenty of friends.

[You know, if they you counted the ones in Luceti. Back home, he had one friend.]

Right.

[He didn't sound convinced.]

Do you even know what that word means?

What what word means?

'Friends.'

Yeah, of course I do! Why would you say that?

[He's already got the feeling why, but playing dumb might work right now.]

Because I'm not sure. Tell me, what does it mean?

[Because, really, he wanted to hear what the kid had to say.]

[He's beginning to feel like a rat in a trap here. Whatever he said next would give Cliff some kind of fuel, wouldn't it? Okay, he's got a brilliant plan for this.]

Can I take a pass?

Nope.

[Cross was right. Any answer that he gave was enough for Cliff to learn something, and seeing his own 'no comment' request being used was telling in and of itself. It only made Cliff more curious.]

Drat.

[Okay, how to word it the best he could.

Anything he thought didn't sound like it would come out right.

In the end, he settles with possibly the least damning.]

Friends are supposed to have each others backs.

[He's quick to add:]

I just don't want to bug you with my problems.

[Cross knew what it meant then, but for one reason or another had separated himself from the concept himself. Cliff wasn't sure if the kid really had anyone he could talk to, and his reaction to the stress of the Draft left Cliff a little worried.

He sighed, but kept his voice clear of his frustration.]

Do ya think I'd still be talking here if I wasn't going to listen? Sheesh. Think a littke, kid.

I, er, I just-

[Floundering, floundering like a fish here. Maybe if he helped reveal where he was coming from that would help a bit? Not too much detail about life back home, just his thoughts.]

People just normally don't like listening to others from what I've seen. But, they're the first to have someone listen to them.

I don't have any problems to talk about right now and, if I did? They'd be problems related to something completely different.

I just wanted to check on you, alright? I'll understand if you don't wanna talk, 'cause that Draft was rough on everyone. But, we're all stuck here, so we've gotta look out for eachother.

I-

[Great, he was doing it again. Making others worry, being a burden, everything that wasn't what a hero was supposed to be. Why couldn't he just live up to that image? Actually be it? Instead, he can't keep his stupid problems from showing. He already broke a few times with spillng his guts, he can't do that anymore.]

I'm fine. Really. I just need sometime to think. That's all.

[He realizes this could turn ugly though with an argument or with Cliff mad at him so he's going to try his damnedest to avoid it.]

It's not that I don't appreciate you doing this for me. 'Cause I do. I just need to figure this out on my own.

[or his usual way of bottling up his feelings.]

[The kid really did have more problems than he realized, but Cliff wasn't going to force the issue. He couldn't make anyone do anything, but he was satisfied that he at least tried. With luck, Cross might think a little more in the future.

That was enough.]

It doesn't really look like that's worked for you so far...but, you know. A man's gotta do what he needs to do. Sometimes, he just doesn't realize it until it's too late.

Don't be afraid to talk, Cross. I'm always available for a chat-- there's nothing but time here.

Everyone needs someone to talk to. Just try to remember that.

[What'd Cliff even know about all this anyways? Dealing with all this and knowing the moment he probably spilled he'd be labelled as annoying or a pest? He bites his lip a little bit because, yes, he does want to spill and while Cliff is giving him this chance...

he can't take it. Or else he'd betray the very image he's trying to build for himself.]

I'll be fine, Cliff. There's a lot more to worry about right now than just me...

But, thanks. It's nice to know that. I mean it.

[He's had an entire lifetime of experience on the kid. Picking up a few things is inevitable, especially when your life depended on being observant.]

Cross. The offer still stands whenever you decide you wanna take it. No pressure, no rush. I just wanted you to know that it's there.

[There really was no way of making this guy stop from trying to give him help was there? Even when he said he apperciated it, it didn't feel like it would be dropped and forgotten. In the end, he'd have to deal with this eventually.]

I'll think on it. Cliff.

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